


Like Looking Into A Mirror

by cypherd



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Ecto Genitals, F/F, F/M, Multi, descriptions of sexual exploits, multiverse shipping
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-06-20
Packaged: 2019-12-18 09:19:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18246923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cypherd/pseuds/cypherd
Summary: Your life has just settled into a lovely sort of normalcy. You have a wonderful Monster boyfriend in Papyrus, have built up and repaired an initially rocky relationship with his brother into something mutually beneficial and friendly and your whole career has really taken off thanks to Monsters making it to the surface.Until the experiment you've been helping Sans with literally explodes in your face, summoning forth the worst possible problem from all corners of the multiverse. Alternate versions...of yourself. All of them a little off model and all of them straight, and very, very into Sans.





	1. Chapter 1 - It Happened To A Friend of a Friend of Mine

**Author's Note:**

> From the undertaleprompts tumblr with a prompt of - instead of a reverse harem with all the versions of Sans from alternate universes, all the alternate universe readers show up and they all want to jump Sans.
> 
> This one's kind of for me, as I do like a lot of the SansxReader fics and all, but the readers are always mostly straight and well, I'm team Papyrus. So there's that. I thought it'd be nice to have a reader like me. Is me. And you know, what they say - if it doesn't exist, may as well write it yourself.

You and Sans had gotten off to a rocky start. It wasn’t really anything either of you had done personally, but both of you were highly suspicious people unwilling to trust easily, had vastly contrasting differences of opinion on how clean a living area should be at any given time, you had zero tolerance for puns...and there was the small matter that you were in an  extremely serious relationship with his brother. Overprotectiveness you could have forgiven him for, except that months in he still seemed convinced you were going to snap and kill Papyrus in his sleep or some nonsense.

Nonetheless you COULD both agree on your adoration of Papyrus which is why you had made nice, or at least civil. The turning point had been a chance encounter before one date night when after habitually showing up before Papyrus was ready to go, for whatever reason the stars had aligned in such a way that nothing on your phone was worth pretending to be interested in and Sans apparently didn’t feel like pretending to be asleep (possibly? You never could tell.) to avoid talking with you.

Finding out that the one thing that you and Sans did have in common was a PhD had completely changed your relationship and, you had to admit, your life. Sure his was in theoretical physics and yours was in languages, but suddenly you were learning ‘Hands’ instead of Latin, in on the ground floor for a published paper on Monster and Human communications and were a translator on some project of his involving a machine he’d been trying to fix for ages. Obviously you had no mechanical experience but you could translate the monster language into english to find equivalent parts in the human world and comb ancient texts to find what humans and monsters collaborated on before they were sealed underground. It was interesting work (apparently silver may or may not have religious properties but it definitely could hold magic properties) and Sans was a lot friendlier now that he was your partner in academia instead of the creepy asshole stalker with the forced grin who you’d spotted lurking in the shadows while you were trying to go on a private date more than once.

The best part about it was that Papyrus had been over the moon to discover his brother was working instead of sleeping and you could testify to that; Sans’ whole demeanor was like night and day.

The thank-you sex had been...something that was definitely not a subject to keep Sans’ motivation up.

“hey pal. think i’m ready for a test run.”

You startled out of your thoughts, and barely looked up from your coffee to hide what was rapidly becoming a rather spectacular blush in the amount of body heat that had rapidly transferred itself to your face was anything to go by “Oh. Yeah. Okay great.” you mumbled into your mug. Subtle. He’d never suspect a thing.

There was the sound of something being clicked or turned or pressed, before a massive explosion rocked the very foundation of the house and you were dripping wet and could hardly breathe.

The reason for the former was the coffee that had spilled all over you. The later was the fact that the explosion had rocketed a short skeleton monster right into your gut with the force of what felt like a cannonball, knocking the wind out of you and spilling you both in a heap.

You moaned, trying to catch your breath and clutching at your stomach. He seemed to be in no better shape despite that he hadn’t lost any HP; you knew from experience that intent was everything - he obviously hadn’t intended to explode the house, but it didn’t stop the fact that being tossed into hard surfaces like a ragdoll was going to hurt like hell.

“Anything broken?”

“My pride…” you moaned, trying for some levity. “You?”

“i’m going tibia okay.”

You groaned of course.

“nothin’ wrong with my funny bone.”

“Yeah, can’t break that any further.” Yeah. Sans was fine.

As you disentangled yourself, you could feel a few things shift unpleasantly. More than likely however you were going to be sore for awhile, but frankly it could have been worse

You had no idea that it was in fact worse, nor just how MUCH worse. Your first clue might have been the look on his face.

“Hey. Are you really okay? Because um, you look like you’re going to either shit your pants or one of us has finally snapped and you really did intend to demolish a significant portion of the basement.”

“Somewhere in that explosion...something did go right. We just need to make adjustments!”

“You can do it! I believe in you!”

Sans’ grin slid into slightly more manic territory and you gave yourself a mental slap for walking into that one.

“I didn't mean shit your pants.” you were laughing. And you hated it.

As you both gulped down some monster food which took the edge off the pain and bruises and cleared the worst of the mess up and away from the washing machine and dryer so as not to interfere with daily routine, Sans halted you from going up the stairs with a hand on your arm.

“hey.”  

You paused, taking advantage of the rare opportunity of a height advantage you had on him by way of being perched a few steps above him.

“this doesn’t get back to my bro. What happened today.”

You narrowed your eyes. “Really.” you deadpanned. “I thought that ‘lying to Papyrus by omission’ was something you and therapy buddy were working on.”

“i know and it is, ‘kay? i meant what i said before though about something - not the explosion of course, but something having gone right in there. i just don’t want paps to worry before i get a chance to research it out.”

You considered. On the one hand, it wasn’t your place to interfere in family. You were Papyrus’ girlfriend, Sans’ role had been as much to raise him as it was to be his sibling. No relationship was perfect of course and as much as Sans was working on his issues, you wouldn’t stand idly by whi--

“hey, buddy. it’s okay. i’m gonna hit the books and get all healed up ‘fore i try again. you know well as i do my bro wouldn’t let me run right back into the fray. or meander. saunter?”

No time had not diminished the bastard’s ability to read people like a book. “I don’t know, what does a slug do, slime in? That’s about your speed.” Your attempt at keeping up was falling flat, but you weren’t going for funny anyway. “Fine. I suspect Papyrus is going to notice the rubble in the basement, but what I will do is not make a production about how it happened or the extent of it. I doubt he will, he and Undyne have done a lot worse to the kitchen.”

You hadn’t been expecting gratitude exactly, so when that was what, or at least the Sans equivalent thereof was what you got via a pat on the shoulder and a genuine tilt to his grin, you relaxed a little, even got a little excited. You hadn’t been involved in the science side of academia very long, but whatever had just happened had apparently done something good, even if it didn’t look like it to you   Besides that, Sans had said he’d be doing theoretical research for a while and it would be nice to take a breather from the whole ordeal for a week or so. You hadn’t had a reading week since Undergrad.

You still would not. You closed the basement door against what remained of your failed test run.

“...hey, ya feel like a beer? At grillby’s? cause i do.”

“Yeah. Absolutely. Lemme get changed into something less coffee stained.” You responded automatically, too shocked by the invitation to question it. Besides, after your intimate encounter with the floor, you really could use a drink.

* * *

Papyrus was yawning into your hair while you found yourself finishing his beer. Ah well, you didn’t have to get up tomorrow. It was funny (three beers worth of funny) how the dynamic had changed in your little group. Papyrus’ job as an EMT managed to tire even him out, you were drinking and planning on sleeping in and Sans...hadn’t shut up about things that had eventually gone right over your head so far you didn’t even feel it passing over you.

“Mmm, okay.” You could hear yourself slurring and had just enough good decision making synapses left to call it a night. “I’m gonna...go to bed so I actually wake up in one.”

Papyrus gathered you up. “I AGREE. I AM GLAD THAT WHATEVER DESTROYED THE BASEMENT WAS APPARENTLY PRODUCTIVE IN SOME OTHER WAY!”

“I didn’t tell ‘im.” You felt the need to chime in. “He figured it out on his own. You’re so smart and have the breasts of a--”

“YES YES I AM VERY SMART AND HAVE MAGNIFICENT BREASTS...YOU ARE NOT FIT TO DRI---”

And that was all you remembered.

* * *

You heaved yourself up with a groan. You hadn’t got that drunk but you still felt a little fuzzy and your stomach wasn’t exactly pleased with your current life choices. Nor were your muscles, but that had more to do with yesterday’s up close and personal  introduction to exploding magical machinery. Your wonderful boyfriend however seemed to have anticipated that and had left water and painkillers within arms’ reach.

Taking your mobile phone off the charger, you dialed the University.

"Hey, boss? I don’t think I’m going to be able to come in today. I wasn’t really feeling great last night and I’m not much better tomorrow. I can work from home today if that’s okay with you.”

You could hear Sans' smirk over the phone "’course, pal. i know it's for personal health reasons that have nothing to do with drinking too much and feeling up my brother on the way home from the bar. thanks for that show by the way. i'd been meaning to see the _breast_ show on earth."

"Yeah yeah, sorry for that. And thanks." . Even if Sans did kind of owe you, you didn't much like to take days off, especially not for this kind of reason. Nonetheless you didn't intend on making a habit of it so you put the pity party and self flagellation on hold, chugged your water and pain pills and took a long shower. You took your time with the morning routine and by the time you were well...back in your PJ's at least you felt worlds better. Like some breakfast and coffee was in order. Papyrus and Sans by dint of a friendly working relationship with the former monarchs of the Underground had a spectacular collection of tea but nothing beat out a good old fashioned cup of joe.

Whatever Papyrus had given you was really starting to take hold too. Maybe you'd take the time to make eggs today. God that sounded--

There was someone in your house.

It took some effort but you fought your natural response to scream or yell out. Most intruders intent on causing harm did not, in fact sit at the coffee table, apparently waiting for someone to come in, judging by the way they looked up expectantly when you entered with a worried expression on their face.

...which...was your face.

"Hi." you said intelligently. Moving on autopilot you slid into the chair across from them, all thoughts of breakfast forgotten as you stared blankly into their-your-her-his-its? face.

It was like...well. the 'looking into a mirror analogy ' didn't work exactly.  It was you...yes. Definitely. However this you was just an inch or two taller maybe; it was hard to tell with them sitting down. They'd cropped their hair short and let it curl naturally - a style you hadn't had since secondary school and had hated immediately, growing it out to its current length as soon as you could. They were maybe a couple of pounds heavier than you were and dressed a little more conservatively, apparently chose to wear glasses...bifocals instead of your expensive high-power prescription contact lenses. Ugh. Nerd alert.

...which was...not the point here.

“H..hi...um...I’m...is Papyrus here...m-maybe?”

You were immensely annoyed by um...you immediately. What was with the mouse-fart voice all of the sudden? Project woman! Had you learned nothing from the shit show your parents put you through all your life?

Still this was too weird to be focussed on that .Maybe you should answer y--her.  "At the hospital? Where else?" You asked. It genuinely was a question. "Why exactly do you need to see him?"

"W-well...I...I assume s...something went wrong with his...m...machine. S...sans is going to be worried about me..."

"His. So. You. You think the machine belongs to Papyrus? And yes of course, Sans would be your partner. Because that’s interesting and um. True.  Why don't you stay here. At this table. And let me get you a cup of coffee and I am going to go make a call. To Papyrus. About his machine."

You fixed up a cup of coffee - the instant crap that Sans drank; you were feeling wary and immensely uncharitable towards um...lame-you and plunked it in front of them without fanfare, herding the sugar bowl and creamer at them.

Which they added to their drink and adding a new level of creepy. So now, you were now in a fucking urban legend. That right-handed little bastard came from some kind of mirror verse and there would be no 'killing of the original' on your watch.

“Call Sans right the fuck now.”  you hissed to Siri.

"Hi there…” you glanced towards the kitchen. "...Papyrus."

Sans started to say something in response which might or might not have been a pun. You didn't wait to let him finish it.

"Shut up and come home. There's a problem with your machine, _PAPYRUS_."

A dead silence reigned on the other end.

"'kay."

You hung up from the call and took a steadying breath as you leaned against the wall. Your stomach was starting to churn again but this time it had nothing to do with last night’s activities.

“HEY!” You shouted as you were shoved forward when the basement door you’d been leaning against opened outward hard enough to send you stumbling. “SANS THIS ISN’T--”

It was of course, not Sans.

“Oh fuck me, who the hell are you now?”

You were starting to wonder if you’d decided to drop a load of Monster acid. Or regular old human made acid. Now there were THREE of you? Or - you,  and two clones. That was important. Always remember you’re the original.

This one however you at least approved of. The red and black suit was nice actually. Classy. Kinda hot objectively speaking. Maybe after all this was over you could get something like that for...yourself or Papyrus…chicks in suits...or...monsters who used male pronouns but made magical breasts and vaginas for their pansexual-partners-who-liked-breasts-and-vagi---not the time for this. Hot suit, maybe kinky roleplay later. Right now, new clone.

“Alrig---shit man.” you stared blankly at your new doppelganger's hand. It was absolutely mangled. You snatched your own back - something about the suit had made you go into professional mode, but you did NOT want to touch that monstrosity.

“Heh yeah. Don’t worry about it, I don’t even like touchin’ it. Still works though so can’t complain. Anyway, I know something went wrong over here, but you can take your time fixing it.”

“Let me guess. You had a bad experience with a machine.”

Did you really laugh like that? So obnoxious?

“Oh and how.  Guess I owe Sans a blowjob. Bah, he’ll be insufferable for weeks. And my office will smell like skeleton jizz…”

“Your office.” Because that was the part to fixate on. Actually yes. It was. You did not want to think about cocks. Sans’ or otherwise.

“It is NOT why I became head of the department.”

“Head of the--”

You were saved the trouble of getting a reply when you heard the displacement of air sound that actually meant the next person in the basement actually WAS Sans.

“Hey. Why don’t you go keep um - us - company. I guess I’ll go start getting this sorted out.”

You beat a hasty retreat to the basement where Sans was waiting for you, looking as mentally beat as you felt. This was going to be a LONG conversation.

* * *

“Look.” you put a hand to your forehead. “So I’ve had enough of this shit. Here’s what is going to happen: I’m gonna go out and you’re going to work on the thing...and um. That’s...where we’re going to be.”

“you are not leaving me here with them. I thought you were smart. Don’t you have a lesser PhD?”

“Oooh, defensive sarcasm. Awesome, super original...and that’s saying something currently and coming from me now that I think about it. Look. I have read enough urban legends to know that if you create a cloning machine you’ll eventually all turn on each other and-or kill each other and-or probably all want to fuck your own girlfriend or in this case, my boyfriend who I don’t have to remind you is also YOUR BROTHER. Sorry _pal_ , I’m goin’ on holiday for a long, long time. You kill the clones. I’m sure you’ll find some motivation.”

“they aren’t clones. they’re from other timelines. you. but from other timelines.”

“OH EXCELLENT JOB DOCTOR WHO! Breaking the time space continuum is even WORSE. Even I don’t need a PhD in Doctory to know that one!”

For a moment, Sans looked like he was going to laugh. You took advantage of your momentum without stopping to think.

“..And--and OH MY GOD they’re annoying. I’m telling you living in my own head is bad enough, it’s...it’s just...they’re me. My god, I am looking at different examples of all my own insecurities and failures but off by a fraction and it’s...it’s…”

Tears threatened to well up and you fought them back. To your surprise, Sans looked almost shocked at your lapse in reticence. If he’d been planning to say something acerbic in response, he seemed to think better of it. The harshness in his face softened.

“alright. kid i get it. but you cannot leave me here with them.”

“Okay.  Okay you’re right. But I have to go for a walk or something. For a bit at least to clear out my head. Look. I’ll take an hour.”

The skeleton nodded. “fine. that’s fair. I’ll stay here and work on reversing this. you clear your head and come help me when you’re done. hey, maybe you should warn my bro. No one’s killin’ anyone but you could be right about that ‘wanting t--” an expression of revulsion passed over his face. “--liking the same people bit.” he amended.

“Oh.” You hurried up the stairs.”Oh that’s right. That’s something I found out. Some...shall we say...unusual data. APPARENTLY, in OTHER universes I’m straight, I like dick and um...oh yeah, they all wanna fuck you  k’bye.”

You slammed the basement door and wondered how far you could get before he teleported after you.


	2. Vanilla

You were halfway down the block before you realized that Sans was absolutely not coming after you. Why would he, when he didn’t trust YOU, let alone a whole house full of you? You didn’t slow down however, despite not having any clue where you were going.

Opening your playlist, you thumbed through a few songs but never actually pressed play. You suspected even your heaviest queue of death metal or bass-heavy high-RPM running songs weren’t going to manage to drown out your hamster wheel circuiting brain.

A small handful of people were waiting at the bus stop.

“...essor? Hi, Professor?”

“She can’t hear you bro.” 

You were saved the trouble of responding to a student whom you normally would have had no trouble recognizing, and started tapping your foot to sell the ruse that you couldn’t possibly have heard them over the non-existent music.  

The saturday express to the University pulled up and you supposed you were off to hide out in your office now.

Predictable, but at least you’d actually get the promised thought-collecting done.

You remembered to wave a little at the student this time as you brushed by them to get off the bus and fished out your keys from the bottom of your handbag. 

The hallways of the building were dark with only a ‘wet floor’ sign on a floor that had long ceased to be damp from the afternoon. Somewhere in the back corner you spotted light - someone else must be here, but you weren’t interested in finding out who. Instead you turned in the opposite direction and proceeded to your own office. 

As an associate professor, you didn’t exactly have the classiest digs. There was a cactus that had been a gift from Papyrus, a Doctor Who mug that had been given to you as a gag gift and the kettle you’d brought from home, a desktop computer provided by the department and a bookshelf that held the anthologies and the readings from the two classes you were teaching this term, as well as a copy of your published thesis collecting dust on the top shelf. Everything else was in the newly acquired Monster Special Collections in the library or electronic at your house.

Still, you weren’t the lowest man on the totem pole anymore and yet the dumpy little office had some sentimental value to you.

In fact, you’d been sitting right here when…

* * *

 

**2 days before First Semester Starts**

 

_ “Hi Y/N! It’s good to see you. Doctor Wendell said back in May they were giving you the job! Glad to hear it’s true!” _

_ “Oh! Thank you Pro--er, Cindy.” _

_ “Have you spoken to John and Shelley yet?” _

_ “No, I think they’re still at the Grad Student Welcome thing...so, hm, don’t think I’ll see either of them until our ‘TA meeting’. I hope they don’t think they’ve made a mistake.” _

_ “No no, we all decided they should be your TA’s for the year. Seemed appropriate.” _

_ “Yeah. I appreciate it. We can all be nervous first timers together.” _

_ Cindy chuckled and took a seat across from you on the opposite side of the desk. Apparently this was a bit more than just a mere pop-in to say hello. _

_ “Have you had an opportunity to look over your class lists yet?” _

_ “Not really.” You’d picked them up from the office but had more or less just checked the names of the people assigned to TA your seminars, the times and the rooms, knowing that as the youngest, newest hire they would all be late and horrible, and you’d not been wrong. Terrible building, with crappy acoustics and you’d be riding the bus home and walking in the dark on Fridays. Yeesh. “This isn’t about getting stuck with the crap room is it?” _

_ “No.” Cindy admitted. “It’s not. Tell me, Y/N, have you ever met a Monster?” _

_ “Uh, outside of the bunny guy who sometimes has a shift at the coffee place I go to in the mornings? Not unless you count explaining what ‘double double’ means as ‘having properly met someone’. Oh and I know OF Doctor Alphys. Never spoken to her though. I mean, I don’t really have any reason to get down to the Engineering department, right? And I didn’t see her at the mixer event thing.”  _

_ “Well, no, you wouldn’t. I don’t really think big crowds are her thing.” Cindy pointed out dismissively. “You do however have a monster student in your class.” _

_ “OH!” Well that actually was a shocker. “I would have thought…hm.” You picked up your papers and began rifling through them more closely.  There were a few people with unusually spelled names, a few who had filled in preferred names and gender identifiers but none that really stood out as -- wait, this Mr? That’s them, right? Papyrus? No last name either. Says here that- uh- he’s in...pre-med? What does he want with baby’s first Shakespeare course?” _

_ Cindy shrugged. “Well, he does have to have a course in the humanities and I guess introduction to Latin was probably full. Apparently, I guess the library Underground had Hamlet. Guess he read it and liked it.” _

_ “Did you meet him then?” you asked her curiously. “You seem to know a lot more than I do.” _

_ “It was on his application.” _

_ “Waaait.” Your head snapped up, a pit of worry forming in your stomach. “Did I miss something? A meeting? Since when are we involved with registrar decisions? Is it because he’s a monster? Am I sup--” _

_ “Calm down. You didn’t. The registrar DID forward his application to Doctor Wendell for a look over though. It was very memorable.” _

_ “Because…?” You weren’t sure how you felt about this particular qualifier. _

_ “It was full of glitter.” _

_ “Excellent.” _

_ “It’s in his beard.” _

_ “Very excellent.” _

_ “We need you to approve his new nickname of ‘Saruman of Many Colours.’ _

_ “Fuckin’ A.” _

_ Cindy left you alone shortly after that but your amusement had been short-lived. Sure you enjoyed a challenge but glitter-covered cv’s aside, this wasn’t one you had been expecting or were sure you wanted to take on - particularly on top of your debut performance as a real professor. _

_ You hoped Papyrus was easier to deal with than removing glitter from a carpet. _

_ You showed up to your crappy second-class citizen lecture hall with had literally no trouble spotting your new monster student. For one thing he was a seven foot tall skeleton. For another, he was wearing  a scarf that was...waving in the breeze dramatically despite you being indoors and there being no circulating air anywhere else in the building. For quite another he was there at least twenty minutes early, but that one you couldn’t fault him for, you had also left early.  _

_ You made eye...to socket contact? _

_ Alright, you could do this. He was just a person. Another student. _

_ "I didn't expect anyone to be here for at least another fifteen minutes. " You said with a smile. _

_ "WELL!” He boomed. Yikes. And you thought you had a naturally loud voice.... _

_ "THE GREAT PAPYRUS  IS NOTHING IF NOT PUNCTUA, BUT I WAS HOPING TO SPEAK WITH YOU. YOU ARE PROFESSOR Y/N, CORRECT?” _

_ You nodded. “I am.” _

_ “I THINK YOU WOULD LIKE TO KNOW OF A MISTAKE ON THE UNIVERSITY’S UNDERNET WEBSITE THAT  I BELIEVE YOU WILL WANT TO RECTIFY IMMEDIATELY!” _

_ "Internet.” You corrected him while you tried to process things out.  “Ah, what kind of a mistake?" _

_ “I DO NOT KNOW WHO THIS SHAKESPEARE IS BUT I HAVE READ THE VERSION OF OUR COURSE TEXT BY CLIFF NOTE MANY TIMES!” _

_ How did you proceed with that? On the one hand ‘The Great Papyrus’? Was he full of himself? You really hoped your first Monster student wasn’t some pretentious asshole, and you were an academic. Or maybe he was blustering through nerves. Give him the benefit of the doubt, Y/N... and honestly, It wasn't really funny, all things considered. Papyrus had lived underground and got his reading material ...from a dump.  _

_ "Well," you began, "Cliff Notes is just the abridged version. It’s something students use to help understand how to analyze texts. This here is the real play.” _

_ Papyrus picked up the book you’d pointed to and to your delight his eye sockets lit up, or, at least that was how it seemed for a Skeleton. “I AM AWARE OF THIS….” _

_ “Format?” You supplied _

_ “YES! I HAVE BEEN TO ALL OF METTATON’S PLAYS AS WELL! THE LIBRARBY HAS RELEASED ALL OF THE TEXTS!” _

_ Alright. You could work with this.  _

_ As it turned out, you'd had it right not to laugh at the skeleton when he immediately showed up for your office hours. He probably wasn't going to be a literary major but he was actually quite insightful once he got over the language hurdles. _

_ On top of that, he was actually pretty fun to talk to. _

_ "I'M NOT SURE IF THAT IS FUNNY OR NOT?” _

_ “How so?” _

_ “WELL IT IS CERTAINLY...CLEVERLY CRAFTED, IT SOUNDS LIKE THE KIND OF RIBALD HUMOR MY BROTHER WOULD ENJOY.” _

_ And that was the first of the decided movement away from purely academic discussions. You'd spent the next half hour most assuredly not speaking of Titania and Oberon. _

_ At first it had just been a little bit about yourselves and differences in culture. You always tried to swing it back to studies, in some attempt to maintain your professionalism. However as the semester had crept along, you swiftly found yourself becoming upset that your time together would be coming to an end. _

_ Was it selfish to want your new friend back for round two? He’d done well with Shakespeare, maybe he’d do just as well with Chaucer, and how much fun could it be to teach him something you really enjoyed. _

_ If there was one thing you knew about Papyrus, he was a hard worker...and he cared. It would be selfish of you to keep him from his core courses because you wanted company in English class. Hm. It wasn't the biggest campus either, you might be able to see him...say, meet up for coffee?  Yes. That would work, who said it had to be office hours? _

_ When the knock at the door inevitably came, you were in a much better mood. _

_ Something however was wrong, torpedoing your good cheer instantly. Papyrus may have been a skeleton monster with a perpetual grin but he was emotive. _

_ "I...ah..." he started, slowly. _

_ “Who are you and what have you done with Papyrus?".You joked, but you were concerned. Had something happened? Did he fail a course? Something happen to the brother? A friend of his? Your mind rolled through every horrible thing that could have happened to your uncharacteristically quiet friend. _

_ "We...can't hang out any more." _

_ You relaxed. “Well, I know that. But it just so happens I've come up with a plan. Why not coffee? Or some of the TA’s were discussing a book club, if you still want to read." _

_ Something of the old Papyrus had sparked, but it was short lived. _

_ "We have...A...A conflict of interest! I cannot deny my feelings any longer." _

_ "Huh?" You said, intelligently. If you didn't know any better.... "Papyrus. This is my office hours. Not a date! It’s never been a date.. surely you didn't think it was?" _

_ Then again, if he had thought of what you were doing as a date, he had to be about the nicest one you'd ever been on. Kept his hands to himself. Check. Stimulating conversation. Check. And, for someone who had initially introduced with as narcissistic sounding a title as ‘The Great Papyrus', was shockingly interested in what you had to say. _

_ “I’M SORRY! I DO NOT WISH TO GO AGAINST THE RULES ANY LONGER!” Papyrus turned and you jumped up, banging your knees on the desk. You ignored the pain. _

_ "Wait..." _

_ You were making a major life decision here.  _

_ There were rules of course, but in your Masters' year, hadn't you taught the boyfriend of one of the other TA's to avoid a conflict of interest? That had been fine, right?  _

_ There was nothing that said you couldn't date a student as long as he wasn’t yours. And, of this moment (thank goodness you’d sent off grades to the registrar this morning) , Papyrus no longer was. He wasn't your typical freshman either. By human standards, He was actually older than you. _

* * *

And the rest, as they say - was history.

Where was Papyrus now? Had Sans gotten in contact with him? Dragged him away from his job? Told him about how when the going got tough, you had...run away?

The knock on your door was heavy enough that you jumped up, getting a weird sense of deja-vu as you banged your knees on the edge of your desk.

You hurried over, ignoring the pain and hoping that somehow you’d mental telepathied over the one person you’d actually want to speak to . "Papyru---"

"Hey."

It was not Papyrus.  It was...suited ...not-clone. The one with the messed up hand.

"Uh hi..."

"We decided that you can call me Fell. We can't all be called Y/N, can we?"

"All?” That sounded like there were even more of -- “ Okay, um...Fell?" you repeated As in 'Fell Down? Fell out Fell--"

"As in Underfell you twit."

You bristled.  Fell shouldered her way in without trouble, considering you instinctively backed away from that damaged hand.She walked around to your side of the desk and sat down. "So you’re an office hider too. Guess I’m not surprised, but I can't say I'd be all that excited to hang out here." she mused, opening one of your drawers. You could guess what she might have been looking for, but you weren’t the type to keep booze in your work desk. The old chair gave a creak as she leaned back. "But I do get the appeal of this Universe."

"I haven't seen yours." You almost walked around to the opposite side, but you sat on the edge of your own desk instead. "I guess I'm wondering about..." You shut up shortly thereafter.

 

You'd never met Fell's version of Sans of course and well, apart from her earlier statements making it sound like whatever they were doing was consensual, it was kind of a dick move to announce to someone you didn't understand their relationship choices.

"Chill out. I don't 'get' your thing either. Everyone's so trusting here. Next you're going to tell me you have a good working relationship with Doctor Wen--...oh my god you do! Geez." Fell shook her head. 

"Alright, I don't get it, but...it's nice. I like it. I'm not going to fuck with it for now. Provided that is we go home and you and the rest of the Vanilla squad get to work on getting me home."

"Alright." You're right. I'm wait, we're the vanilla ones?"

"Oh as they come darling."

"You didn't meet the first one evidently.”

"Maybe I did and maybe I didn't. Vanilla." 

Great. Let's hope that nickname never, ever stuck.

  
  
  



	3. That Old Gang of Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the gang's all here...

You started to turn towards the bus stop but Fell shook her head. "'M parked this way." 

Parked? What did she Back to the Future out of the basement or so---

oh no. 

You didn’t even need to see it before your worst fears were confirmed. Ohhhh damn, that was Papyrus' car. 

“Was Papyrus home?” you asked, already knowing the answer.

"Nope."

"Of course he's not. You hotwired his car didn't you. Oh fuck me, can you not…?"

"Well I had to do something.."

"The BUS. It's called THE BUS. It is a form of public transportation that honest hard working people take to get around when they do not own cars. There is, alternatively this nifty thing called ‘the under--the subway’. And, “ You loaded your voice with sarcasm and waggled your fingers. “A Traaaaain”. 

"Calm your tits, Vanilla. Your Boss ain't going to bleed you out for stealing his car right?"

"Boss?" It was already out of your mouth before it dawned on you as to whom she was referring. "You call, er, your Papyrus 'Boss'?" Your face turned a bit red.

"Hey...you like that huh? Geez maybe not so vanilla after all. C'mon, nothing for it, car’s here, so let's go."

You climbed into the passenger side on autopilot. So in Fell's Universe, Fell was dating Sans, and was the Head of the Department at the University and whatever had went down for her to get that position had utterly destroyed the good standing and rapport she...you? had had with the man you'd more or less considered a father figure. She called Papyrus ‘Boss’. who was judging on her reaction to the car issue someone there who would react with physical violence to a slight. It didn't seem like a stretch to imagine that one or both could be behind the story of what happened to her hand. 

Even as you shuddered at that idea, it did bring up another, less hypothetical point.

"Hey!" you had to shout over the fact that Fell apparently enjoyed having the top of the car down on the motorway. "Uh, what do we tell people who might see us together."

"I dunno, that I'm a cunning linguist? That we’re both kinda narcissistic?”

Your eyebrows shot up. "Ew, no. You know what I mean. If you're me, I'm guessing, I mean - it's all very well and good for Sans and Papyrus to know what has happened, but everyone else who knows me definitely also knows that I'm an only child. And also, I'm betting that based on this," you gestured expansively around you at the car. "You're not the type to stay indoors on order?"

It was with no small amount of gratitude that the two of you (and the car) made it home unscathed, with nary but a few extra miles on the odometer to show for the joyride. You hated to admit it but you were beginning to see Sans' point in perhaps not telling Papyrus every little thing. 

And, you immediately felt guilty for that.

Nope. No. Lying to your boyfriend was not, and would not ever be in the cards. 

"C'mon. War room's in here."

"Found'er." Fell announced and gestured unnecessarily, slumping into the chair at the far end of the kitchen table. You dutifully took a seat in your normal spot.. You gave yourself a mental pat on the back at not having reacted all that badly to the fact that there were now two more of you. Unfortunately this was doing very little to untangle the veritable clusterfuck of emotional improperly stored fairy light strings that was your brain.

"So. The Gang's all here." This was from Newcomer the first, who bore a more striking resemblance to wimp-you than Fell. They were sitting up straight however, hands folded somewhat primly on the table. You half expected her to add something along the lines of "I won't say anything else without a lawyer present."

Newcomer number two on the other hand, well,l your first thought was that they were hungover or maybe sick. Their head was propped up, hands tangled up haphazardly in their hair and they seemed to wobble unsteadily even sitting down. You were discomfited just sitting in proximity. Something about them deeply bothered you, unable to pin it down until you recognized with a start the suddenly very glaring something that even made Fell's twisted mess of a hand seem, well, monumentally less disturbing. Their right hand was missing fingers. All the fingers but the middle one. The ring and pinky looked as though they had been chopped off or maybe amputated, clean stubs that simply ended at the knuckle and were padded with some kind of leather buffer. If that had been all, you might have chalked it up to the worst of the accidents that seemed to have plagued all the timelines, but it didn’t end tidily there. On the other side, the index and thumb were raw bubbling slabs of meat, that looked as though they'd been gnawed at by a wild animal and no one had ever bothered to have them properly healed.  
While your first thought (untrue - your first thought had been something about suppressing the urge to vomit) had been that Papyrus could help once he got home, your brain stuttered to a halt and got off on a new track entirely as you realized in a powerful wave of sheer conviction that you didn't want Papyrus anywhere near this version of yourself.

Not a person at the table seemed unashamed of expressing the exact same thing. 

Where you had first assumed that wuss-you had been flirtatious lin their hitching their chair nearer to Sans, it was suddenly apparent that might not be the case. Even Fell looked discomfited by this version. Posh-you was the one to finally draw your attention back to the matter at hand, clearing her throat;.

Realizing all too suddenly that you had been staring, you tore your gaze away and fixed it on Sans instead. "Is this all of them?" 

It was, perhaps a little gratifying that he couldn’t quite mask his true feelings with a rictus smile. and what you assumed to be his attempt at a nonchalant shrug only came off tense and guarded.

"i’m assuming so." he said shortly.

"Brilliant." you muttered, hating the feel of 'completely lost' that had been your default mode ever since this morning. Raising your voice you addressed the group with the only question you could think of. "So are any of you lot from the 'engineering degree' universe?"

Posh waved with a sort of sneer. "Well hadda be, didn't I? Otherwise t’Mutt’d never get anything done would it?"

You processed what you could of that one. It wasn’t a bad start if someone there was capable of supporting Sans. “Okay then, great.” 

Fell gave a curt sort of nod. "Not the main event but yeah, I know my way around a blueprint. I can play for the other team."

You ignored the double meaning. Hey, maybe you were getting good at this self-analysis after all. Eat your heart out therapist. "Good. So that means that the rest of us are all hands on deck at taking apart my notes and research. We'll figure out where Sans and I went wrong."

Fell, Lame-you and Posh-You were nodding. Your eyes drifted over to the nightmare version of yourself. Did that one even speak English? Or was it more 'grunt-zombie-lurch-and-pelt-things-we-don’t-understand- with-rocks?’

"Sans you can bring this lot up to speed?"

Lame-you (You needed to find out what they were calling themselves. Maybe you should try to come up with something better than 'lame' lest karma ACTUALLY stick you with 'Vanilla' for the rest of your days.

"I'm actually going to be on the Engineering Team." 

"Oh. Fine, sure then."

"So is that it then?"

Your question went unanswered as your attentions were diverted by the sound of the front door being opened, and then shut.

"Y/N?" Papyrus called out. "I'M HOME?"

Papyrus was home. And more than likely a little confused. After all, by this point you'd have texted him with dinner plans or asked him what he wanted to make or updated him on how you were feeling.

"SANS? ARE YOU HERE? IS SOMEONE ELSE HERE? ARE WE HAVING COMPANY--OH!?-WE DO HAVE COMPANY!" Papyrus had reached the kitchen and the scene within.

It would have almost been funny to watch if the situation hadn't already been too weird. You could practically read Papyrus thoughts as they played out in real time across his face..Gearing up to admonish Sans for his hosting skills, then the recognition of just who the guests actually were. then seeking out you among them and double checking to be sure you was in fact you.

"I." He began, "WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE TO KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON HERE."

You on the other hand were out of your seat in a flash. The Titanic had struck the iceberg with all the force of a machine exploding and Universe had finally provided a life line to your pitiful drowning form in the water. A Papyrus-shaped lifeline. 

"Ah. So remember the accident from yesterday?" You started.

"'was my fault." Sans spoke up, much to your surprise. He wasn’t the worst offender of deflecting (even you could admit you were worse than him), but he didn't jump to take responsibility either. In your peripheral vision, Fell seemed as surprised as you did which in turn didn't surprise you. You were starting to suspect that 'for all the 'bad future' tendencies of whatever happened to be going on in her version of events, her's was also actually the closest to yours. "we kind of accidentally brought other versions of y/n here from other timelines." 

You felt Papyrus posture stiffen up against you. "I SEE." 

Maybe you were reading too much into this but whatever had passed between the two brothers just reeked of an 'i told you so' vibe that you couldn’t put your finger on. As though Sans expected Papyrus to understand this better than you had.

You'd have to ask Papyrus about that later.

"Er anyway, we're stuck with these guys - er, versions of me for the forseeable future, but we've got a plan to get them home."

Not a very good one. More like the barest dregs of one...but it had the desired effect. Papyrus immediately brightened, hugging you a bit to his side. 

"EXCELLENT WORK! I KNEW YOU COULD COME UP WITH SOMETHING!"

"Yeah. Yeah. Um, Introductions. So this is Fell." Fell did an exaggerated Royal wave from the end of the table. "And ah, that's all I know. I only just found out that they were doing nicknames."

"Oh. It's still my show?" Fell pointed. "Swap." 

That was lame-you.

BJ." Scary-ass version. You suppressed a smirk and Fell caught it. "It's for BeetleJuice actually. We were gonna call her Lydia, but...Y'know, Lydia was at least perky." 

"Huh. Okay. Alright."

“And Posh-Spice.”

“Posh. I shan’t be named after a ridiculous boy-band.” 

You decided not to mention that you’d been calling her Posh-You anyway. The boy band part was interesting though.

"WELL WELCOME TO OUR HOME! Y/N AND I ARE SO GRATEFUL TO HAVE YOU!”

You hoped you looked as though you agreed with that sentiment. "Our dimension." you ammended, then turned up to Papyrus. "Sorry love. I guess this has been taking up the day. I haven't had time to get anything ready for dinner, so maybe we could go out? Somewhere nice perhaps? Italian?”

Papyrus looked rather gratified., but his countenance twisted a moment later. "AS MUCH AS I WOULD LOVE TO GO ON A DATE, ALAS Y/N, WE HAVE GUESTS!"

Shoot, that was true. All of you had to...oh. Well. Slowly, you grinned at Sans. This was a rare opportunity. "I'm sure Sans can entertain our guests."

Papyrus clasped his hands together "AN EXCELLENT SUGGESTION, Y/N! YES SANS SHALL ENTERTAIN OUR GUESTS WHILST I GO ON A DATE WITH Y/N!"

“Excellent use of whilst, darling.” 

Sans' Flat "what" was drowned out by your doppelganger club all speaking over one another at once and you hurried Papyrus out the door. 

Papyrus could deal out as well as he got with Sans but he did have the unfortunate tendency to back out before a joke could properly land with the desired effect. Maybe this time however he was just as invested in the outcome as you were, perhaps because of the basement, perhaps because of the whole situation overall.

Whatever the reason, intentionally or unintentionally (he couldn’t have possibly known that all these alternates of you had variants of special feelings for his brother - you assumed, it had seemed to be a common thread) it was Papyrus who landed the parting shot, just before the door swung shut.

“HAVE FUN ON YOUR GROUP DATE, BROTHER!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, a group date but there's no rose ceremony afterward and the machinations of other-readers are revealed...


End file.
